Wicked
by End Noesis
Summary: For Kero the forbidden fruit isn't an apple. It's a blueberry muffin.


**A/N**: I decided to take up 'drabbling' because it's less time-consuming than the bigger projects I'm working on here and real life. This didn't turn out to be drabble-length but here it is anyways. :P

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The golden plush animal laughed maniacally, his form shaking with irrepressible elation. What fools were these mortals to leave a pan of muffins cooling out in the open and unattended? The brunette and raven-haired pair of young humans were clearly experiencing a dangerous lapse of judgment, for in the past two years in which the beast of the seal was in the care of one of them, his affinity for sweets was known by all.

Last time the girls baked he was tied up like a common criminal upstairs. The fragrances that crept into the room were as delicious as they were siren-like calling him to his demise. His cries of anguish went unheard, but an old magical force in the household allowed his binds to loosen. Imprisonment hadn't stopped him then, and now, free to do as he wanted, he was going to show those two meanies how much damage a sun guardian could do.

Cracking his knuckles, he approached the aluminum pan. _This should be easy… candy… baby… _ Guffaws escaped, as the image of committing the crime of sugary thievery against two overgrown babies came into being in his mind.

Cerberus sniffed the batch, taking in the delightful scent of blueberries encased in the steaming brown bread.

"Kero," the voice was cold and cruel like unused baking pans. Cerberus stiffened and directed his attention to the intruder in the room.

"Yue," he said dismissively, removing the first muffin from the tin. Before he managed to fill his belly with the tasty victory, a vicious hand slapped it away. The muffin thudded onto the floor. The sun guardian immediately enacted the three-second rule, and would go as far as to extend it to thirty-seconds if needed.

Yue blocked his efforts, destroying the baked good under an unforgiving foot. Cerberus let out a loud wail, pained with immeasurable loss.

"Why? Why?" he cried. "I was only going to take one this time. Now she'll think I ate two!"

"How about you eat none," the moon guardian seemed to ask but it came out more of an order in his perturbed tone. "They'll be back soon enough for you to properly ask for one."

"What are you – the guardian of the muffins?" Why do you care about what I do with my free time?"

"I don't," his brother replied dryly. "You are more than welcome to fry your brain in mindless games and destroy your body with the consumption of questionable human creations, but I warn you, brother, let these muffins be. There are other sweets in the house for you to eat."

In the times of Adam and Eve, the forbidden fruit was a glorious apple. The more God said no, the more the snake tempted her to defy him anyway. The humans took a bite of its waxy shell and tasted the white flesh, and centuries later, Cerberus had their downfall to thank for apple pies and tarts, caramel apples, apple cider and more.

At the moment, the blueberries encased in the crumbly prison of the muffin flesh required his help. Rules were meant to be broken, and here he was, ready to take down an angel for the greater good of the evolution of future sweets.

The toy wings on his back expanded to their full-size and folded over his body. He reemerged as his true self, a golden lion beast with a guttural roar to expel a fireball. The moon guardian shielded himself with the muffin pan, the flames only scorching the bottom portion as to not harm the contents.

"Good! Now they're hot again and the whipped cream I'll add will melt like butter over them!"

Yue's ice crystals glowed over his palm, ready to launch a counterattack. "Over my dead body."

"Stop!" Fujitaka intervened between the two, forcing a temporary stalemate. Both guardians were taken back by the intrusion of Sakura's father. Clow Reed's other reincarnation possessed half the magic of the once most powerful sorcerer. While now aware of the magic that inhabited the Kinomoto home and the spirit of his deceased wife, he never before involved himself in the matters of guardians or cards.

He adjusted the glasses on his nose and cleared his throat. "There will be no more fighting indoors over muffins. Kero, I made pudding yesterday and there is a cup in the fridge just for you. No need to steal muffins from your mistress. And, Yue," he said in a more serious manner, "I expected more out of you."

"Sorry, Kinomoto-sama," Cerberus said. "I forgot you were home today." His brother faded the crystals back into his lunar aura and gently set down the muffin pan on the kitchen counter. Yue was not the apologizing type. He reverted to his false form instead to cope with the human formalities of the situation.

Yukito blinked and looked around in confusion. He scratched his head and smiled. "Hi, Kinomoto-san and Kero-chan!" A whiff of baked goods caught his attention. "Muffins! May I?"

Fujitaka sighed and dismissed himself. "You two are just as bad as my real kids. Suit yourselves, just no more ruckuses." Cerberus returned to his stuffed animal guise, and the two kinder and less menacing representations of the sun and moon happily scarfed down the muffins.

At the eleventh and final one, they eyed each other, noting the other's want for the last one was as equally sized as their own. Stomachs growled and gurgled with anticipation for a sixth muffin each. A game of rock-paper-scissor decided the victor to be Cerberus, who could only play as rock to a chagrined Yukito's play of scissors. The loser retreated to a loveseat in the living room, where he quietly fell into a peaceful sleep. Cerberus joined, finding his brother's other self's lap to be a nice place to rest.

A door creaked open, and the card mistress and her best friend tiptoed inside.

"Well done, Sakura-chan! Now we can prepare Syaoran's birthday dinner without Kero eating everything."

Sakura grinned. Using Sleep's magic dust as an ingredient in the muffins was a wicked thing to do, but it worked. She took a granny smith apple out of her grocery bag and bit into the pome's green skin. "Want one, _m'deary_?" she offered the unbit side to Tomoyo.

"I know better than that," Tomoyo replied, declining the fruit. "An enchanted apple tart, on the other hand, who could resist such an evilly scrumptious thing?"

The sinful challenge was set on the proverbial and (mere hours later) literal table.


End file.
